Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
