how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
