I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
