I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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