The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
