Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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