Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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