Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It's just like the Real World with babies
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
