Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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