I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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