im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Dick very happy bro
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
