So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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