Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
