Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
