One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
