Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
