You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
