so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
