sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
