I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
