i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
