We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
