He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
