I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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