whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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