I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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