i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
