bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
