he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Someone shattered a urinal.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
