There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
