Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
