yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
