Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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