It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
