Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
