I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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