Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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