I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize