We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
