Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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