I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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