is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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