Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
