Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
