My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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