y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
