doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she smelled like a LAN party
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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