Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
