I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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