I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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