After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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