She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
