STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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