His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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