Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
