the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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