she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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