he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just found puke in my bra..
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
