With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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