I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
